Planning a wedding is a big job but it’s also the best way to showcase who you are as a couple, what your love looks like and to bring your friends and family into the next stage of your journey together. Weddings are steeped in tradition, with certain things each couple are expected to do. However, if you’re planning your very own gay or lesbian wedding, then it’s the perfect opportunity to challenge some of those traditions to reflect real, modern relationships.
1. The invitations
You know how the typical wedding invitations went back in the day… Mr & Mrs Smith and Mr & Mrs Jones invite you to the wedding of their children, John and Jane.
Nowadays, love and marriage can be celebrated (in many countries) between any loving couples ready to make that commitment. We love that Zoe and Sarah could get married; daughters of Julie and Mary, and Faye and Bridget respectively.
So change up your wedding invites for your same-sex wedding and make them personal to you as a couple. Sure, include your parents’ names if you’d like to keep a part of the tradition but make sure they express who you are too.
2. Your wedding party, your way.
Whether you’re a Mrs & Mrs or a Mr & Mr, your wedding parties are probably going to be a little unconventional. Brilliant…run with it; celebrate it!
Create your perfect mix of besties and family with some bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridesmen, best women, men of honour and so on.
3. The hen party, sten, hag or stag do
The traditional girls or guys weekend away is almost a thing of the past now. Modern families and friendship circles are getting more diverse and it’s not unheard of for a bride to have close male friends that she’d like to let loose with before her big day.
If you’d like to have a mixed sten party, hag do, hen or stag, then do it! Mix up the genders and the age groups and plan your last big fling your way.
4. The dress(es)
Not only can you go shopping together to find “the one” dress, suit or other, but you can also plan to coordinate your outfits more than a traditional couple.
Don’t get us wrong ‘ if one of you wants to rock it in red and the other wants the more traditional white, then go for it! However, if you would like to link your outfits somehow, maybe consider:
- Match your style: If you’ve chosen a particular look or feel for your wedding (e.g. relaxed boho or black and white modern), then make sure you tie that theme into your outfits. E.g. lose the suit jackets and just wear suspenders or get matching chic haircuts.
- A matching colour scheme: E.g. all blue, just pastels or following a wedding theme (we see you, Hobbits and Star Wars geeks…).
- Match your textures: If one of you is keen on a full velvet suit, then maybe the other could wear a velvet ribbon or tie to echo the texture.
- Matching shoes or socks: We love this one. If you’re both brides and wearing the long flowy dresses of your dreams, then have a bit of fun with your shoes and wear matching red heels or rainbow Converse. And for the lads or ladies who’d rather wear a suit, you can’t go wrong with some matching socks featuring your fave fandom or something you both love.
- Matching bouquets or lapel boutonnières: This is a lovely subtle way to echo each other’s outfits without screaming matchy-matchy from the hilltops. You could match a single flower or leaf type or make them identical for a subtle nod to each other’s outfits.
5. The speeches
The traditional order of the wedding speeches is:
- Father of the bride
- Groom
- Bride (a fairly recent development)
- Maid of honour (also recent)
- Best man
One of the joys of a gay or lesbian wedding is that you can mix up the speeches to match the uniqueness of you as a couple and of your family. Some of our favourite untraditional wedding speech ideas are:
- A joint speech by both of your parents
- A joint speech from both brides / grooms
- A man of honour speech
- A best woman speech
- An ensemble performance from all of your bridesmaids or groomsmen
6. Something blue, something…rainbow?
Wearing something blue at your wedding is a 19th century tradition to symbolise the bride’s fidelity and purity. It’s a nice way to bring some history into your wedding but it’s one of those traditions we think people keep going because it’s pretty but not because they know its true meaning.
For your gay or lesbian wedding, why not consider a few different colours and what they could represent in your wedding outfit:
- Red: For passion, love and sensuality
- Green: For health and nature
- Yellow: For creativity and light
- Orange: For joy and warmth
- Purple: For dignity and wealth
- Navy blue: For knowledge and calm
Conclusion
However you choose to make your gay or lesbian wedding unique, it’ll be awesome because it’ll be about you both as a couple and the love you share. So, have some fun with it and have an amazing day!
